Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
