He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
