Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
