Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
