He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
