i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just high enough for therapy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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