Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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