It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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