You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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