The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
