whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
