Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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