Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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