O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
