I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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