I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize