ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
