i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
