he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
