U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
