He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
