do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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