It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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