You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
