so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
