We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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