go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
