You can't motorboat a personality
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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