My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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