Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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