Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
