its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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