OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
