Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
