He had one of those small greek statue penises
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize