Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
