I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
