Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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