I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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