Someone shit on the floor
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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