Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
