the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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