just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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