walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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