Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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