I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
