Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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