that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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