Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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