so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
