This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
