If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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