Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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