So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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