just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
