Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
