I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
