Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
